From where I sit as a man; it would often seem that many women get so caught up in the idea of finding a significant other that they quickly forget that they don’t have a clue as to what it is they are actually looking for. Women will often tell guys that they just want to date around, which is a clear sign to guys like me that someone didn’t do their homework. “True!” Many men also suffer from this disease too; making many a woman run like hell when they are on the receiving end.
What does this homework I’m saying women should be doing before they start dating involve? Well, it has nothing to do with jerking a man around emotionally and making him wish that he had never gotten involved.
It does involve a woman sitting down before she starts dating men and being honest with herself about what she wants. For example; a woman might want to ask herself if she is interested in sharing her life with a man over the long haul, or if she is just seeking a sexual outlet. Is a friend to pal around with all she really wants? Or, is she serious about marriage? In short; is her desire for male companionship all about the friendship, love or lust?
These are just a few of the questions that a woman might want to ask herself before she goes out and starts meeting guys. Of course, a woman doesn’t have to do this and playing the field may very well work for some women just fine. However, if a woman doesn’t want to be perceived as a Slut, Bitch or Gold Digger in general; she really does need to come up with a plan.
If a woman just wants a friend for example; what kind of behavior does she think is acceptable in that kind of relationship? What kind of physical contact does she foresee herself encouraging or allowing in that scenario?
How will she approach initiating a friendship? Can she do it without leading a guy into thinking that she wants more? Is she secure enough with herself to be able to make her intentions clear to a man from the get go?
You get the idea here I think. Choose the kind of relationship you want and personality traits of the kind of person you are looking to have it with, “First.” Then pursue it. “And,” to be fair; this is the kind of stuff us men need to consider as well, “Before we start asking women out.”
Many folks are content just to let things happen, which really is unfortunate, because it often leads to hurt feelings and frustration for all parties concerned. “No!” This isn’t always the case. But a lot of the time it tends to work out this way. If you have doubts about this then just take a good hard look at the divorce rate in the good old USA these days!
So, if you really want to do something constructive before you start dating that will positively help both you and the people you meet, “Write down exactly what kind of relationship you are seeking and the qualities of the person you want to have it with!” Doing this will make everyone’s life a lot less complicated and stressful in the long run.