Plenty of men would date a woman who’s separated and every other place in between married or committed. It doesn’t mean it’s the smart thing to do, but they are out there!
Having made a few mistakes in my life by getting involved with women who were otherwise engaged; I can honestly say that I’ve learned from my mistakes. “Yup!” I’m now amongst the ranks of the intelligent male community who have learned how to, “Just say know.”
No matter how hot looking or ready and willing the married or legally separated woman is, “It just ain’t happening again here.” My reasons have little to do with church and state. It’s more to do with the fact that there is a point when one finally grows up; starting to think honestly about what’s right for all parties concerned.
Sure! Some will say that, “Love knows no bounds,” and that may be true in a very few cases. However, having personally spent more than a few years just blindly going from one relationship to another, “Without ever stopping to evaluate things before jumping in feet first…”
So, “Now,” when I’m approached by a woman who’s married or separated I back away because I’m all too aware of what the end result will more than likely be. To me? “It ain’t worth it!”
I’ve learned from personal experience that one who wants to start a new relationship, when they’ve yet to get a complete handle on what happened with the last one, cheats their new partner and themselves out of what could otherwise have been an awesome coming together of spirit, mind and body. Why? This is because they are still dealing with left over emotions and automatic tendencies from past events. In other words; they are handling what their new partner does, “In an often negative way,” simply because it triggers a bad memory leading to an automatic response connected to their ex-partner.
That’s not to say that this is true all of the time. Normally though, unless you are a true Angel from Heaven or simply have no emotions at all (which means you’re probably a Serial Killer if not a Terrorist or Politician); without a cooling off period between relationships you’re bound to keep experiencing the same disappointments over and over again. This would be because you haven’t taken the time to heal, or even look to see what led up to the relationship’s demise in the first place.
Considering what you could have done differently that contributed to the last relationship’s failure is never fun either. But it is a part of that process which I’ve come to personally recognize as being necessary.
We all contribute to relationship failures in one way or another. So it makes sense to me to want to be with a woman who has cleaned up from her last relationship (so to speak) before I allow myself to get involved with her in a new one. It’s just fare to both of us this way.