Although I am currently still single; I am grateful that I’ve made the switch from thinking I need a girlfriend to simply wanting one. “Yeah,” there is a difference. When you think you need a significant other in your life you tend to do things to get into a relationship and stay in it that ultimately will lead to failure.
“Yup!” When you start thinking you need a significant other in your life you tend to start settling for what you can get. You do this thinking that you will feel complete rather than standing your ground until you get what you are worthy of, or, for the smarter people in the crowd, “What God desires you to have.”
So, in addition to “wanting” a girlfriend who is athletic, smart, is independent, honest, can manage money, works to grow personally, enjoys sex (of course) and a few other things I’ve mentioned on this site, there’s just one little thing more that I’ve probably failed to mention. It is important to me that I have a girlfriend in my life who is with me because she “wants” to be rather than “needs” to be.
I’m pretty sure that this will be a puzzler for most people because they’re operating on a belief system that tells them where they should be in life by specific ages. However, if you look around at the majority of folks living under the influence of this kind of thinking, you can see how well that’s worked out for them.
They’ve settled for the job they hate. They have raised the kids they never wanted. They live with a spouse or life partner they absolutely can’t stand.
“Why?” All because we are programmed at an early age to think that at certain points in our lives we are supposed to have achieved certain things; marriage being one of those things.
For example; many women are of the opinion that there is something wrong with a guy over 40 if he hasn’t been married at least once yet. This view is widely echoed across the internet and certainly does seem to influence the thinking of many in the upcoming generations.
“End result?” The divorce rate is sky high in America. We also have a truck load of people on antidepressants. All of this is basically because society programmed folks to do what they “needed” to do.
Imagine for a second how different your life would be today if you had it drilled into your head growing up that, “The only thing you need to do is what God wants you to do.” Imagine how much better your relationships (intimate and otherwise), career, and even relationships with family and friends would be if you were taking the Lord’s direction. If you think I’m nuts for saying this then tell me, “How’s that road map drawn out for you by your neighbors, family, colleagues, professors, friends, and/or others in your life working out for you?”
So, “Hell Yeah,” I want a woman in my life who “wants” to be with me. The only time I ever want to hear a woman say, “She needs to be with me,” is when she expresses it as a “God inspired” need.