When I first started dating in the 1980s; if I suspected a girl might like me, I wasn’t reluctant to try and sneak a kiss, or hug a girl. I did it without a second thought; only slightly fearing rejection, “Not jail.”
But then things began to change. I had one girlfriend in 1991-92 who used to tease me sexually to no end; intentionally winding me up and then shutting me down, repeatedly. So, I began to desensitize a bit, knowing that the social climate was changing for everyone; myself being age 22 at that point. So, to avoid trouble or just plain disappointment, I learned to be intimate without showing signs of arousal.
Apparently though; I was in for another shocker at age 23 when I met a Minister’s daughter. She drove me back to my condo one night after a bunch of us CB radio people had been hanging out at Dunkin Donuts (Newton, NJ) which I thought was a rather nice gesture. Once we arrived at my place though; I was in for an even bigger surprised. When she walked into my condo with me, “She shoved me up against my kitchen counter and began kissing me without warning.”
Needless to say; she and I eventually moved from the kitchen to the bedroom for a rather long pleasant night of fun between the sheets. We hung out for about two weeks; having another long sexathon during that time.
Then, again without warning, she’s suddenly breaking things off with me over the phone one night; threatening to press rape charges against me. I had no idea what the hell the problem was.
I was rather stressed at that point because I couldn’t figure out how you can be raping someone who is pulling your clothes off and helping you jump into your own bed. And, yet, she was threatening to press charges.
Fortunately for me; she told a few of her friends about what she intended to do and they put their foot down with her; making it clear they wouldn’t stand for it. Yup! A bunch of people who really didn’t know me that well were sticking up for me.
But, her own friends didn’t just tell her she wasn’t going to file rape charges against a guy they didn’t know all that well. They made her meet me face to face in public and apologize; taking her threat off the table. Apparently; her friends knew she had made false rape allegations before and were determined to make sure she didn’t do it again.
So, “Yeah,” if you are a woman wondering, “Why a guy won’t make the first move on you sexually,” you just might want to try finding out from him what dating experiences he’s had in the past. It might seem like the kind of awkward conversation you should really avoid. “But,” if you really do want him to have lawful carnal knowledge of your body, “What’s the point in being shy about it?”