I woke at 3:51 AM and felt the push to simply visualize or focus on Remotely Influencing Ellen to behave in a friendlier manner, especially after her attitude with me on the phone yesterday. So, I started playing around with visualization and possible affirmations that would achieve that end, while doing breathing exercises until I fell back asleep.
The first vision was of me telling Ellen that she’d better get her attitude in check. I could feel the energy of my anger flowing towards her as I spoke, both of us sitting in her living room in this particular vision.
Then, at some point the vision shifted to me masturbating and fantasizing about doing a pretty brunette. Then that vision shifted into me actually doing the pretty brunette. It was a dream within a dream, me having fallen asleep while masturbating.
Finally, the last vision in the sequence involved me trying to figure out how to use Copilot in Microsoft 365 Word to look up a problem I was having with my penis, which folded in half every time it got hard. I needed to write a script that would get my question answered by Copilot that would not be rejected by the application, triggering it to give me the response I needed.
Some where during all of this, a young woman named Amanda was sitting across the driveway from my building talking to her boyfriend about needing to get her computer replaced with a new custom-built PC. I could hear their conversation through my open apartment window and finally called out to them saying, “Buying a commercial PC would be much better.”
I went to the window as I spoke, having been working on my own computer, looking at a Word document that had Amanda’s name mentioned in it with a bunch of others. I was telling them why I said they should get a commercially built PC, the boyfriend drifting up to the window to talk with me more about it as I spoke.
Interpretation: I believe the vision involving Ellen was basically there to let me know that my expressed desire for her to change her attitude to something more friendly was in process. I will know if that is truly the case in a few days’ time.
Sex is obviously something still being played out as a possibility, as well. With whom, I have no idea. However, I do believe that the vision regarding looking up information involving my little dream penis problem plus the segment of vision involving masturbation was a clue on how to bring things about in real time.
The computer dream, too, may have been a tell, as well. Maybe I’m customizing my process for attraction too much?
Is it not possible that by focusing on my own physical body receiving positive benefits from sex, I could conceivably attract more sex into my life? Maybe it’s not a question of finding a partner that wants to enjoy sex with me.
Maybe my focus needs to be more on what sex will do for my body and personal wellbeing. In short, “Maybe I need to view sex as a means for self-healing in order to experience more of it.”
That feels right to me. Viewing sex as a physical problem that needs to be solved, more than anything else may be just what the doctor ordered. So, I guess the real question for me to now answer for myself is, “What sexual problem do I really Have?” Or “What problem will be resolved for me by having sex with a partner?”
Can it be that the real issue here is that I do not have an appropriate means for physical sexual release on my own? Perhaps the affirmation/visualization I need to work with is something along the lines of, “I will next awaken from sleep having been experiencing healthy sexual outlets, and this is so.”
Maybe by working with my gift from that angle the rest will fall into place. Perhaps then, the partner or partners appropriate for my needs will become available? There’s only one way to find out, “Right?”
Maybe sex needs to be kept generic (commercial) in my world, like a PC. And we all know that PC stands for more than just Personal Computer. So, yeah, I can see where dreams might be suggesting I’m over complicating things too much where attracting a lover is concerned and need to keep things more base in that part of my life. At least for now, anyway.
It certainly will be interesting to see what happens when I begin exploring solving sex as a physiological problem through psychic means. Who knows. “Maybe some young woman named Amanda will help me out with that.”