I’ve done my meditation and have pretty much figured out what my issue is. In a nutshell, “I’m getting caught up in the details on some matters in an effort to find facts about a particular incident.”
There’s no exam coming. So… do I need to do this? “No!”
Am I unconsciously gearing up for a battle of wits that will ultimately result in anything positive? Again? “No.”
Do I even have to engage in any such confrontation over the phone, face to face, or otherwise? Honest answer? “No.”
Does the party I’m fortune telling to myself about in my racing thoughts have the power over my life they think they do? “No, they Do not!”
They couldn’t prove anything they might have heard over a phoneline any more than what I can because everything I have heard is verbal. And… So long as I’m comfortable with the facts presented to me that’s really all that matters. If they want to rewrite history to make themselves feel better about things that’s fine.
I don’t have to accept them or their lies anymore. “I’m free!”
Their presence in my life has done little for me in years and I now know who they are. So, I’ve begun looping over certain things triggered by a phone call earlier today because why? “I have no idea!”
I think I’m going to sleep pretty good tonight. “The racing thoughts are in the bag!”
Well… Ok… The racing thoughts are understood. That’s the more honest answer. But that makes them way less potent in their effect on me, which is what I really needed to have happened.
They’ll eventually dissipate now in their frequency. “That’s my gut feeling, anyway.”
I spent over an hour working a meditation to figure out what my deal is and I feel much better now than I did after taking a two hour nap this afternoon. “It’s all good!”