I built BrianSchnabel.com to be an online extension of me, Brian Matthew Schnabel. I send folks in the Newton NJ area and beyond to this site if they express a desire to connect with me; for any reason personally or professionally. Continue reading A Summary Introduction To Brian Schnabel Online.
On Friday, October 14, 2016 pictures of Johnny D’Angelo of Newton NJ and Catherine Moore of Cape Coral Florida were posted on Facebook. The pictures showed them together; despite the fact that Catherine Moore was a married woman with three children and living with her husband at her in-laws house. Clearly, ethics weren’t a concern for these two lovebirds, any more than the law is; Universal and otherwise. “However,” even more disturbing were some of the responses folks had to these pictures; clearly speaking to the all-time low in the moral values they would have otherwise had if they truly knew the Lord. Continue reading Catherine Moore; Facebook Dating Ignoring Married Law And God.
“Of course,” if you really do think you have a problem getting it up and keeping it hard; you should always talk to your doctor, “First!” But, have you ever considered the possibility that half of men over 40 have Erectile Dysfunction because folks aren’t connecting with the Lord in any way? Even your doctor knows there is a connection between spirituality and body function and we know from The Bible that God expects us to look to him for leadership in our daily lives. So, isn’t it possible that ED is merely a side effect of our unwillingness to lean on God during even the most intimate moments?
As a guy; I can honestly say that, “Sex is more underrated than overrated,” By Far. It’s a known scientific fact that many relationships start through chemistry. Now, before anyone gets all bent out of shape and starts sending me hate mail because of this post just stop to think about it. Continue reading Marriage Or Relationship; The Importance Of Sex To This Man.
Right off the bat; Mr. Stephen R. Covey tells us in his book, “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People,” that it’s never really a question of changing other people and their behaviors but more a question of changing ourselves. Is your career going well while your social or family life suffers? Is your marriage falling apart or perhaps your kids aren’t willing to listen to you? Perhaps; no matter what you do, nothing you do or say seems to help a loved one in a difficult situation? Continue reading We Will Start With The Inside Out Approach: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.
Under this heading Stephen Covey explains to us that he had studied success material that had been published in the United States of America from 1776 forward. He tells us that he noticed in this material that up until about World War One the material taught success principles that were based on things like, integrity, humility, loyalty and patients. Prior to World War one; we are told by Mr. Covey that other things along those lines were emphasized, which would be considered traits of character rather than personality, as well. Continue reading The Personality and Character Ethics: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.
The philosophy here is that the personality based teachings of the past fifty years, although useful and important to some extent, are only secondary and short term solutions that do not work over a long period of time. Thinking positive, knowing how to manipulate people into liking you or doing what you need them to do for you (or even each other) is certainly useful, “Yes.” However, when it comes to enjoying long lasting relationships it is who you are (your character) that will make for far greater Cinergy in a relationship between two people of quality integrity than any teaching based upon personality or social imagery could ever hope to achieve.
“So “what is a Paradigm,” you may ask? Under this heading we discover that it is a model or map. With regard to people Paradigms are internalized maps or models based on our own life experiences. Continue reading The Power of a Paradigm: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People.
A paradigm shift takes place when your perception of a situation changes. For example; if a guitar instructor were to ask a student to reverse rolls and teach them the scale they’d been working on, as if the student were the one giving the lesson, this would encourage some students to become better learners. Continue reading The Power of a Paradigm Shift: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.
Sometimes it takes a little courage in order to see a person or situation differently. This is because “we” need to be different. We need to learn to change our thinking in order to look at something in a new way.
Principles are natural universal laws that have turned up continually in civilizations throughout history. It doesn’t matter what religion a person is, or what culture they live in. These principles are natural laws (like fairness) that will break us if we continue to ignore them. Continue reading The Principle-Centered Paradigm: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.
Under this header; Stephen Covey talks about how the Personality ethic being widely taught over the past fifty years is really nothing more than a get rich scheme, especially on an emotional level. He talks about how many folks who look for a quick fix to their problems and behaviors do not realize that it’s not going to work in the long term. He says it will not work in the long term because these remedies will not get to the real root of the problem. Continue reading Principles of Growth and Change: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.
Here Stephen writes that our view of problems is the problem. He explains that this is because we are more or less seeking an external source of the resolution rather than sitting down and being brutally honest with ourselves. What’s being suggested here is that perhaps we already have within ourselves the solutions that we are seeking.
Under this heading Covey writes to us that in order to have the relationships we want in our lives we have to become “ourselves” what we seek in others. He tells us that this must come first if we are to expect others to respond to us in the ways we desire. For example; if we want to be trusted we must be worthy of trust. That makes sense, “Right?” Bottom line; become what you want to be treated as. The only way to do that is to work on yourself inside!
Covey writes that habits are what express our character or lack thereof. They are automatic portrayals of who we are. If we want to change our character we can do this through making the huge commitment required to change our habits. Yes folks! It’s true! Bad habits at any age can be broken. FYI: You really can teach an old dog new tricks, too.
Covey defines habits as the junction point between Skill, knowledge and desire. He writes that… Continue reading Habits Defined: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.
Mr. Stephen R. Covey explains to us here; being independent is a good thing but it should never be one’s ultimate goal in life. This is because everything from the eco system on our planet, to society itself, is based upon functioning interdependently; in cooperation with others. Continue reading The Maturity Continuum: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.
Under this heading the PPC Balance principle is introduced. The first P stands for the production of a result that is desired. PC stands for production capability or, in other words, “The asset that is producing the desired result.” We are told that most paradigms tend to focus on the desired result. The trouble with this however is that no attention is paid to ourselves (the producing asset) in this process of thinking. What is alluded to here is that, in order to get out of life the things we want, we need to work on the basic core principles within our character.
Mr. Covey shares with us in his book that there are three kinds of assets in the basic scheme of things. These assets are; human, financial and physical. How we take care of our physical assets, car, house tractor, etc., will directly impact our financial asset, money in our bank account. If you aren’t sure of what I mean just talk to someone who has driven a car over thirty-six thousand miles without ever changing the oil or filter! Continue reading Three Kinds of Assets: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.
When it comes to organizations; focusing too much on the end result or product is highly destructive. This intense focus wouldn’t produce the desired results in the business world any more than doing so would in a marriage or friendship. Make everything about the bottom line and failure will often be (and generally is) the end result. There must be a balance between maintaining the equipment that produces the product, or making sure the staff of an establishment is treated the way the owner of the business desires the customer to be treated by his employees. It’s important to insure that the PPC Balance is maintained in organizations in order for the organization to be effective.
It is stated here that The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is written to be used more as a companion than a book. If one wanted to read it through first to get a feel for what’s there that’s cool. However, Mr. Covey suggests that we keep the book at hand for reference; making it easier to incorporate the habits found in his book into our daily lives. Continue reading How to Use This Book: Part 1: Paradigms And Principles: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.
Having graduated and worked at Sussex County Community College myself; I can certainly understand why hard working women taking classes want to keep focused on their studies and avoid the usual stress, plus other complications that dating men can often create. Even now, being single and working hard to grow my desktop publishing business, my own time is limited. So, “Yeah,” I get the lure that simply hooking up via websites, apps, and other methods might have for some college women. Continue reading College Student Hookup Websites And Apps Can’t Offer Women This.
“Humor!” There are many varieties of it. But one thing is for certain. “Life sucks without it!” Continue reading Funny Smart Women Always Welcome.
So you’re wondering, “Can a relationship work if the woman in the relationship makes more money than the man,” ha? In Sussex County NJ, “It’s debatable!” A lot depends on the morals/ego/security of the man involved with the woman. Continue reading How Dating A Man Who Makes Less Money Can Work.
Women who are now single and wondering why men act interested in them and then pull away should stop and think about how they behaved towards guys when they had a boyfriend or husband. I’m pretty sure that taking that walk down memory lane will help even the dullest tool in the shed find the answer to that question. Continue reading Why Men Act Interested And Then Pull Away.
Personal vision is simply self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability of one to look at themselves as if they were viewing another person, or having an out of body experience. We can look at ourselves physically this way but also emotionally. We can separate ourselves from our thoughts like this, too; making it easier for us to identify the thoughts and habits that are holding us back, or are negative in nature.
You might have been told a few times that the world is your mirror? Well, Stephen Covey explains that if that is the case than the image being reflected back to us is very distorted. Stephen says the mirrored image the world reflects back at us is distorted because it provides input to us based upon what other people are projecting on to us. This projection includes their own character flaws and weaknesses. Who we are is not determined by our environment, DNA or upbringing. Who we are is who we choose to be!
For every action there is a reaction. But how often do folks choose the reaction they have in any given situation? How often do folks use their self-awareness to change the responses they often automatically exhibit based on environmental conditioning, upbringing, etcetera? Through self-awareness; Covey writes that we can gain great freedom because of our ability to function at a high psychological level; rescripting our unwanted behaviors after taking the time to identify what they are. This way we are not a slave to outside influences that we’d otherwise permit to control our reactions and feelings.
You can either be a proactive person or reactive person. Which do you choose? Proactive people in Stephen Covey’s Book are folks who are living their lives responding to situations through the decision making process rather than automatic responses based on conditions. Reactive people tend to live their lives based on letting conditions determine their reactions. A proactive person won’t truly be able to call themselves as such until they can honestly say that they are who they are right now because of the choices they have made up to this point.
Covey tells us that taking the initiative to solve problems and move ahead is essential to living a proactive life. Taking initiative to figure things out, as well as handle things without requiring our hand to be held, is what brings some people success.
Mr. Covey explains here that the difference between reactive people and proactive people is like night and day. He tells us that proactive people are those who can look at a situation that isn’t really that great, assess what is happening, and then make the choice to take initiative to positively improve the situation to the best of their ability. Mr. Covey warns us that this is not the same as positive thinking; people thinking positive in an effort to blot out the negative. He tells us that proactive people first face the facts before deciding what positive action may need to be taken to counter the current negativity of a situation.
The words we use can tell us a lot about whether or not we are reactive or proactive people. A reactive person will tell us they have to do things; using language that tells us that they are controlled by the external environment. Proactive people tell us they choose to do things and that they are not controlled by their environment. Proactives live a life largely based on their choices and own those choices as such.
Mr. Covey tells us under this heading that our circle of influence contains only the things we can control. Our circle of concern contains our circle of influence and so much more that we don’t have control over. Stephen writes here that Proactive people focus only on the things that they have control over and that by doing this are able to expand their circle of influence. He tells us that over time their circle of influence will become just as large as their circle of concern. However, he also says that this means that the proactive person’s circle of concern should naturally expand.
Direct control, indirect control and no control refer to situations and concerns that are all in our circle of influence. Those things we have direct control over can be positively influenced by us changing our habits. Those things that come under the category of indirect control are matters revolving around other people’s behavior. These matters are positively resolvable if we are willing to change our methods of influence. The stuff that we don’t have any control over can be managed in a more positive way by simply changing the way we look at things.
Can you expand your circle of influence to a point where you have control of situations that were once in your circle of concern? Sure you can! It’s pretty simple to do if you learn how to do things like… Continue reading Expanding the Circle of Influence: Habit 1: Be Proactive: Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Book Chapter Summary.