Brian Schnabel's Head Space
Where Magick and Mind Digitally Interlace.

Week of October 19, 2025, Personal Journal Entries: Living Blind and Learning to Roll with The Changes

Monday, October 20, 2025: 4:21 AM: Visions and Dreams: Interpretation: Weather: It poured like hell around 3:30 AM. I think I get it now. One dream alone isn’t an indicator of a pending storm. But at least two dreams over a forty-eight-hour period means a weather event is definitely pending in the near future: Within a four-day period.

Tuesday, October 21, 2025: 5:20 AM: Visions and Dreams: Dream Title: Golden Transition in Ellen’s Country House: This morning, I woke from a vision about Ellen, who is just a good friend rather than once upon a time girlfriend. We were in a house I’m sure neither of us has ever set foot in before, definitely not familiar, but it felt safe, almost grand. The place was out in the country, surrounded by trees, and from what I could sense, it was mansion-like, spacious, and Ellen owned it.

The action happened in the kitchen, which was huge. I remember sitting on the floor in front of the open cabinet under the sink, working on fixing a coffee maker for Ellen. The Stanley Phillips screwdriver felt quite real in my hand (right along with everything else), and I used the bottom of the cabinet beside me as my work area.

It was a simple, almost domestic task, and I found myself saying to Ellen, “AJ can assemble the new one when you get it. I defer to a higher power.” I meant her ex-husband, but the words came out with a sense of letting go, like handing off responsibility to someone else, or maybe something bigger than ourselves.

The whole scene was bathed in a golden glow, even with the kitchen windows facing north. Outside, I caught a flash of golden-leafed trees in the 1:00 PM sunshine and a carpet of leaves on the ground. That detail stood out, October’s fingerprint all over the vision.

Emotions & Mood: During the dream, I felt a sense of calm and safety, underscored by the warmth of the golden light and the spaciousness of the unfamiliar mansion. Upon waking I felt calm, understanding the message from my inner advisor/Witch Self.

Key Symbols & Characters

• Ellen – Present as a good friend, not as a romantic figure, which is her status in real-time.
• Mansion-like Country House: Unfamiliar but safe and grand; could symbolize potential or new territory.
• Kitchen (and Cabinet Under the Sink): The kitchen as a place of repair.
• Stanley Phillips Screwdriver: The tactile realism stands out; perhaps a symbol of trying to fix or adjust something in the relationship, or a hint that I need to stop trying to fix things in the relationship.
• AJ (Ellen’s ex-husband): Mentioned as the one to assemble the new coffee maker; represents delegation, letting go of control, Ellen’s past, or acceptance on my part that her past will continue to dictate her future.
• Golden Light & Autumn Leaves: The golden glow, north-facing windows, and the carpet of leaves are certainly strong markers of transition, but also of change, and a reference to the current time.

Interpretation: Reflecting on Copilot’s suggestions and my own impressions, this dream seems to encapsulate a moment of transition in my relationship with Ellen. The unfamiliar, yet safe and grand house may mirror my perception of her current life, her desires expansive and out of reach. The Formica countertops were a definite tip off with regard to that. My presence in her kitchen, engaged in a simple act of repair, feels like a metaphor for my tendency to help or fix things. However, my statement in the vision clearly indicates that her present situation (symbolized by AJ and the new coffee maker) isn’t to be fixed by me.

The golden light and autumnal imagery point to a recognition that the chapter of our relationship is closing and that I need to let it do so. But it also points to something that Copilot wouldn’t be able to spot in a million years of AI development.

The act of handing off the coffee maker, deferring to a “higher power”, is my Inner Advisor’s way of telling me to let go and trust that things will be taken care of. In other words, “Do not attempt to remote influence any new relationships into being, sexual or otherwise, as that aspect of my life will take care of itself.”

This is also the second dream I’ve had about Ellen in a three-day period. In the last one, I politely hung up the phone on her. In this one, I’m handing off a project to someone else? “I think I get the picture here!”

“Don’t fix. Don’t get dragged into negatively engaging Ellen. Let It Go.”

Thursday, October 23, 2025: 5:24 AM: Visions and Dreams: Interpretation: The motif of not doing anything continues in my dreams/visions. Yesterday afternoon involved not being able to move and fearing the woman coming into the room was going to tickle me, which I hate. She laughed when she heard me trying to say “no” and said, “You’re worrying about things you think are going to happen which aren’t.”

Then this morning a nurse placed a big white towel on my lap and told me to make sur I keep my hands on either side of my legs and under the towel. A baby was then placed on my lap, and the nurse told me to do nothing, even if it seemed the baby would fall.

This tells me pretty much all I need to know. “No hard-core effort to manifest anything is needed on my end at this time.”

Thursday, October 23, 2025: 5:36 AM: Accomplishments and Gratitude Practice: I’ve got the framework for a customized WordPress theme built and things are moving along nicely. I still need to add a few things. But overall, “So Far So Good!”

Tummo breathing and other exercises are helping me, too. I don’t feel as stressed as I did when I started, and I now have something that can help me avoid doing meditations that may otherwise lead me into trouble. “It’s all good!”

Thursday, October 23, 2025: 5:42 AM: Reflections and Release: Dad called last night to see if the check he sent (supposedly) has arrived. I suggested he wait a bit longer before sending a new one. If only the man would cut the shit and use Zelle, we’d get this shit out of the way much faster. But, as they say, “He’s old school!”

He isn’t going to back off in his insistence that my brother didn’t rape his own daughter because he never made it to court. “How I want to kill the man when he starts that shit!”

But then, the thinking doesn’t really surprise me, does it? Isn’t that the kind of attitude one would expect from a narcissistic parent?

Shawn doesn’t know if he wants to return to the United States now? Really? “Has Shawn even left it?”

If my suspicions are correct, Shawn Erickson is teaching Remote Viewing at the behest of a government entity or organization subcontracted by The United States Government. But that’s just a strong possibility based on my own excursions into the other realm. “Nothing is provable on paper.”

It will be interesting to see if Shawn turns up here in Newton as the one vision seemed to be indicating he might. But maybe it’s all just my imagination in overdrive. My gut has been wrong a time or two before about things. Am I wrong this time, too?

I did have a dream recently in which I was posting online a message to Shawn, letting him know that I was looking forward to him visiting me here in Newton. I posted it on Brian Schnabel’s Head Space. “Should I really do that?” Or does it go against the current policy of “Do Nothing” I’m supposed to follow?

So many questions. But going down this rabbit whole is really just a waste of my time. Dad is a problem that will take care of itself. The government is also a problem that will take care of itself. My current environment is also about to change on its own too.

This of course is based on what? Visions and dreams?

And, what if I’m wrong? What’s the worst that can happen? I lose everything? Would that really be so bad? Even with all that I have, “It doesn’t seem to make a damn bit of difference anyway.”

So, I plow on with the Inner Advisor’s plan. Even if it does seem crazy to do, “This is the path I’m on!”

Friday, October 24, 2025: 6:26 AM: Reflections and Release: I’m back in the game again with my sleep patterns, I think. I feel somewhat rested and if I avoid stopping for a nap in the afternoon, I will actually get more stuff done. “Can I do that though?”

I think I can. I’d like to believe I can. But I think part of the reason I do it is because of the visions.

If I don’t have the visions and dreams, I feel like I’m flying blind. But am I really?

I think what it comes down to is simply this. I’m at a level where impressions come into play. I can simply ask for the guidance I want from my inner advisor. However, it would seem that the pitfall I face is when I get hooked on the sensations of that connection. It’s like a drug to me in a way. “There! I’ve finally said it!”

But there is also something else about it that I need to acknowledge, too. “There’s simply the fear that I don’t understand!”

But the only way to get past that is to push forward. I need to accept that there will be errors in interpretation as I go, just like with my visions and dreams.

It will be scary taking this connection with my inner advisor to a higher level than I’ve ever done before. However, I feel strongly that “Now is The Time”.

Friday, October 24, 2025: 2:05 PM: Reflection and Release: I’ve just come off a half hour long meditation noticing once again how certain people persist in my mind’s eye whether I want to dwell on the mere memory of them or not. Dad, I’ve often noticed calls when thoughts of and feeling about him reach a peak. The same seems to be true of people like Cassidy Spohn as well. Maybe it’s an alarm system, letting me know that interaction with these folks is eminent, or at least a strong possibility?

I’m beginning to suspect so. But the only way I’m going to be able to be certain is if I keep better track of this kind of stuff. My record keeping is still half assed and I really need to work on doing a better job with it.

Is releasing my journal online a good idea? The masses would say know. But given the masses behavior of late, including members of my own family, maybe it just doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe by daring to do what most people would call unthinkable is just what the doctor ordered, so to speak.

Most people have no problem letting me know what they think. I’m often not heard when I talk. It’s obvious. So, I’ll just write.

Saturday, October 25, 2025: 6:36 AM: Visions and Dreams: Last night’s dream seemed to revolve around the idea of “the screw,” though not entirely. It began with an intimate scene: a young woman with unusual physical strength and likely in her early twenties with light brown hair, reached toward me from the edge of a bed, signaling closeness. Her posture alone suggested a strong intent for physical intimacy, expressed in a way that was unilateral, she wanted to give pleasure orally, but not receive even though I was well positioned to reciprocate simultaneously.

The setting was peaceful, bathed in an amber glow that even radiated from her body. The moment was brief, and then I woke up. “What she did felt good!”

Emotions & Mood: Calm, physically satisfied. Upon waking, I felt happy.

Key Symbols & Characters:

• Young Woman: Represents vitality, intimacy, and possibly emotional needs that will be met down the line.
• Amber Glow: Symbol of precognition.
• Bed: Vulnerability and closeness.

Interpretation: This dream feels like it’s partly about an inner longing for connection and appreciation without having to jump through hoops or be the one to always initiate intimacy. But I do need to note that the amber glow to everything signals this is a precognitive dream about a potential encounter pending. However, given recent history with this marker I would have to say that this dream coming even fractionally true is only a moderate possibility.

The young woman’s desire to give without receiving? That certainly could point to my craving for simplicity in relationships or a moment where I don’t have to be concerned about giving back; just experience care without strings attached. “What a novel idea!”

Visions and Dreams Part 2: I was focused on a practical task, repairing my K380 keyboard, which had loose screws and a missing keycap. My father appeared, repeatedly offering tools that were clearly unsuitable for the job. His insistence and commentary carried an undertone of displeasure, particularly about my refusal to host him and his partner. I ignored most of his complaints and eventually located the correct tool, a Phillips head screwdriver, on a kitchen table in an apartment that felt like mine in the dream but not in reality. The table was covered with various screwdrivers, all Phillips head. I don’t know who the sixty-year-old brown-haired woman with glasses was at the table, but she said nothing during this whole dream.

As I worked, Dad kept talking, and his words were definitely dishonest. His irritation grew when I made it clear I wasn’t buying into his narrative.

After finishing the keyboard repair, I moved into a dimly lit living room where REO Speedwagon’s Roll with the Changes was blasting from Alexa speakers. At that point, I was searching for something related to domain name registration, a physical tool.

When I asked Dad where he put it, he handed me tin snips. I returned them, explaining I needed something entirely different, something resembling a foot-measuring device. Communication was difficult over the music, so I suggested stepping into the hallway.

The hallway had medium-toned wood paneling and white tile flooring. My apartment door faced another across the hall, and a solid white brick wall stood to the left, leaving only a rightward exit.

Dad and I stood at our end of the hallway with an arm around each other, his height noticeably greater than mine. I rested my head against his chest as we observed a woman wheeling a large green dumpster into an elevator. A strong septic odor drifted toward us as she disappeared inside.

I softly remarked on the smell as the dream faded. Upon waking I had a lingering thought. “Was this a symbolic warning of another impending loss in the family?”

Throughout the dream, I felt my patience tested, Dad’s persistent misdirection and dishonesty wore on me. Yet, in the final moment, leaning against him, I felt a wave of sadness as the woman and dumpster vanished from view.

Emotions & Mood: Frustration, impatience, determination, sadness. Upon waking, unsettled and reflective.

Key Symbols & Characters:

• Father: Central figure, his dishonesty and misdirection reflecting real-life mistrust.
• Keyboard & Loose Screws: Communication issues or something in life needing repair. K380 equals 13 in Numerology too, which indicates a powerful weather event pending. If the new pattern holds true, there will be at least one more follow up dream to confirm.
• Phillips Head Screwdrivers: finding the right tool for the job but also maybe a sex symbol. This is also a recurring dream symbol of late.
• Tin Snips vs. Domain Tool: Misaligned support.
• Hallway: Transition between life phases or mental states.
• Green Dumpster & Septic Odor: Waste, decay, endings; cleaning out.
• REO Speedwagon’s “Roll with the Changes”: Suggests a need for adaptability and acceptance.

Interpretation: This dream feels largely like a reflection of my relationship with Dad. The wrong tools and lies point to the frustration and mistrust I feel regarding the man in reality, an acknowledgement of the fact that I’ve more than likely been sabotaged by him in a multitude of ways since the beginning.

Fixing the keyboard could symbolize trying to repair communication or stabilize our relationship. Searching for a domain registration tool makes me think of platforms from which one can communicate with others. You can’t run a blog or website without a proper domain name.

The hallway scene feels heavy: closeness with Dad mixed with sadness as the dumpster disappears. That septic smell, it’s hard not to see it as a sign of endings or decay. Maybe I’m bracing for change or loss in the family. The song playing, “Roll with the Changes”, almost feels like advice: accept what’s coming, even if it’s uncomfortable.

Interpretation Conclusion: Looking at everything from the night together, both dreams seem to definitely circle around themes of connection and frustration. The first dream definitely brings to light a yearning for uncomplicated intimacy and emotional warmth. The second dream feels like a struggle for control and clarity amid dishonesty and looming change. Together, they clarify that I’m navigating a mix of unsatisfied personal desires and family tensions, all under the shadow of possible endings. Maybe the need to “roll with the changes” is the real message here?

Posting that's a little off the trolley at times... Brian is a single Newtonian Gardens Apartments resident, Self-Publishing Author, cPanel WordPress Web Host and Windows 11 powered computer tech. He’s a musician, sailor, hiker, cycler and some women would say, “Magical, too!”