Brian Schnabel's Head Space
Where Magick and Mind Digitally Interlace.

Week of November 2, 2025, Personal Journal Entries: Shadows, Insight, and Unfiltered Truth

Sunday, November 2, 2025: 7:09 AM: Accomplishments and Gratitude Practice: Yesterday, I made real progress on visualizing my ideal day and managed to get another version of it online. This is a meaningful ritual, writing out each visualization getting me closer to clarity about what I want for myself.

The process was far from easy though. It took me a solid three and a half hours because I was hand coding everything in the WordPress Classic editor. I'm intentionally avoiding the Block Editor since it tends to clutter up the source code, making things a bit dirtier than I’d like.

Working with VS Code was an added challenge; I ran into some accessibility quirks that made things slower and less straightforward than I'd hoped. Still, I powered through and got it done. “I will find an efficient way to do this!”

Another highlight of my day was testing out the Amazon Basics Paper Shredder I received on Thursday, having purchased it Wednesday for $33.00 plus tax. It’s surprisingly effective! I’m not sure about its longevity, but for now, it’s doing exactly what I need, shredding years-old tax returns from 2002 and other sensitive documents into confetti-sized pieces. There is something oddly satisfying about seeing those old papers get securely destroyed, finally letting go of some physical clutter.

I also spent time reading Tim Ferriss’s 4 Hour Work Week. Although the “updated” edition still feels dated in places, it’s been thought-provoking. It’s inspiring me to reconsider how I manage my time and life. I’m not convinced any of the specific solutions will work for me just yet, but it’s encouraging to reflect on new approaches and possibilities. Time will tell if I can apply any of these ideas in a way that fits my situation, “me living with blindness and all”.

On the technical front, I kept working on my “My Design” WordPress theme. I focused on compiling code to make it portable across different sites. There’s something deeply rewarding about seeing a project mature, knowing I’m building something that can be reused and adapted as needed.

I also double-checked my image sizing code for the main content, header, and footer areas of the theme. I confirmed that 760PX is a solid choice for desktop viewing, and that images will scale to fit full width on devices under 1000PX. The key is to resize images to 1000PX before uploading them; then CSS takes care of the rest. It feels good to solve these practical issues ahead of time, minimizing headaches for myself and anyone who I might let use this theme down the road.

• I’m grateful for the focus and energy I had yesterday, which helped me tackle some challenging coding work and push through frustration to get results.
• I appreciate affordable tools like the paper shredder, which made decluttering easier and more secure.
• I’m thankful for books that challenge my thinking, even if they don’t offer immediate solutions.
• I value the opportunity to learn and improve my coding skills as I work through real-life problems. Hopefully the information I compile from trial and error will benefit others like me down the line.
• I’m grateful for moments of clarity about what I want my days to look like, and for the sense of progress these visualizations bring.

Looking back, yesterday was a blend of effort, challenge, and small wins. I’m choosing to celebrate the progress, even when it comes in the form of shredded tax returns or a line of CSS that makes my life easier. It’s the little things that add up, “Right?”

Sunday, November 2, 2025: 7:32 PM: Accomplishments and Gratitude Practice: I just finished reading the 4-Hour Workweek, which offered plenty of thought-provoking ideas. Afterward, I started reading The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz. I previously had an abridged version on cassette, but my tape deck ruined it. Thankfully, I now have access to the unabridged version in my Audible Library.

On another note, I’ve been shredding sensitive documents at a rate of about three buckets a day. In another day or two, all of my old paperwork, including tax returns from 2002 and other accumulated items, will be destroyed for good.

I've also configured menus on Brian Schnabble’s Head Space for both the sidebar and navigation. When I finish with the new website theme, I’ll be able to transition away from the Twenty Sixteen theme smoothly.

In the meantime, I’m continuing to use the older theme as I add new posts. There’s no reason I can’t simultaneously build a new design and update the current site.

I might even upload a photo of myself to the sidebar to make it look more inviting. I’ll keep tweaking the theme to meet my needs as I go, keeping in mind that it’s temporary.

Overall, things are progressing well. I’ll probably call it a night around 8 PM.

Sunday, November 2, 2025: 7:46 PM: Interactions: This afternoon, I called Ellen and received a text message in response saying, “I’ll call you back.” I dozed off while waiting for the return call from Ellen. So, I was a bit dopy when I picked up.

When Ellen finally returned my call via Facetime, she immediately informed me that she had been dealing with stressful phone conversations prior to mine. Not long into our conversation, she became distracted by someone playing basketball in the hallway or apartment. She then started talking with her daughter in the background while still on video chat with me.

Finally, I put my head down on my desk, just waiting for it all to end. When Ellen noticed this, she reacted rather negatively, saying, “If I’m boring you, I’m just going to go.” I said “ok” and let the call end without further comment.

I’m at a point in life where I just don’t need to tolerate negative attitudes, especially when people act uninterested or complain constantly. If someone would not accept such behavior from me, I shouldn’t accept it from them, regardless of how long we've been friends or how loyal they've been.

Boundaries are important, and raising my standards is necessary for my own well-being. No one else will do it for me. Perhaps when I mysteriously begin receiving work-related calls or other fabricated opportunities that get me off the phone with a party turning offensive, “maybe people will wake up when they figure out what’s going on”?

Sunday, November 2, 2025: 7:58 PM: Reflection and Release: I've noticed that writing late at night keeps me up longer and makes me push through tiredness. This screws with my sleep cycles. So, instead, I’m going to begin recording my notes and transcribe them in the morning. This course of action seems like it will be more manageable, as typing requires intense focus and can overstimulate a body that needs to shut down.

This approach will allow me to do blog updates in the morning and handle coding tasks in the afternoon when I’m more alert. I usually get started around 5 AM, sometimes earlier, so taking care of these tasks early works best for me.

Using transcription tools combined with AI, which are now integrated into most platforms, is more effective than dictation in Microsoft Word. As long as transcription features remain accessible, I’ll continue using them.

Regarding personal development books, as I’ve already mentioned elsewhere, I finished The Four-Hour Workweek and am now reading The Magic of Thinking Big. Sometimes, the amount of information is overwhelming, as my mind races to apply the author’s suggestions.

But I often question how these concepts fit into my own life. There are few, if any, guides specifically for blind individuals seeking success, at least to my knowledge.

Many of the personal stories I’ve heard about successful blind people involve individuals who were fortunate to have strong family support and made valuable connections in college. Their families, including parents and siblings, were dedicated to helping them progress, not in an excessively indulgent way, but through genuine support.

This pattern is consistent across every interview or conversation I’ve had with blind people. For example, Michael Hingson, who wrote Thunder Dog and survived the collapse of the Twin Towers in 2001, described his family’s efforts to provide him with a normal upbringing and the necessary equipment for his needs. While they sometimes may have received assistance from the state when needed, there was never a focus on maximizing financial aid at the expense of the child’s development.

Reading these books can be overwhelming, and some of the advice feels superficial, what Tim Ferriss might call “pop psychology”. Still, I have a few ideas forming.

I now have AI tools to assist me in finding the blind spots within myself and have maintained a consistent journaling practice for over three years. In the past, my notes were scattered, but my current format is more organized.

So, with AI’s analytical capabilities, I can quickly identify patterns in my behavior and thinking. Perhaps I can find ways to overcome the social challenges associated with blindness, despite societal stereotypes that persist even in progressive times.

One can hope, “Yeah?”

Monday, November 3, 2025: 8:03 AM: Intention for the Day: This morning, as I settled into my breathing exercises and let my thoughts drift during meditation, I sensed that I was being green lighted to use my unique gifts to confront and help cleanse corruption, whether it’s at the federal level, within the State of New Jersey, Sussex County, or the local Newton government. These are no longer just distant entities; they are personal to me, and my role is becoming clearer with each passing day.

The ongoing government shutdown has left me feeling vulnerable to the point of threatened. Yet, I know from experience that in moments of danger, whether my own or when I sense others in peril, my psychic sensitivity sharpens. My preternatural abilities rise to the surface, allowing me to navigate challenges with a sense of purpose and resolve. This is when I do my most impactful work, connecting to something deeper within myself.

Moving forward, my intention is to embrace my identity as the Waerloga, a figure once both feared and respected but completely ignored by many today. Working from this platform, I will channel the energy that resides within me to challenge those corrupt individuals who pose a threat not just to me, but to countless Americans.

Today, I remind myself that I am protected from the greed, incompetence, and prejudice of elected officials who would try to use me merely as a tool for their own agendas. My resolve serves as a barrier against their attempts to commodify my presence for their own ends which clearly have nothing to do with the needs of so many Americans, let alone me.

In the spiritual realm, I am an avenging angel, exerting remote influence on those who would seek to harm me. I view this not just as mystical symbolism, but as a reflection of my ability to affect outcomes through the astral plane. My interventions are guided by a sense of justice and the desire to restore balance where I detect wrongdoing.

At this point, I will not rely solely on affirmations or rituals to effect change. While those practices can help focus one’s intention, I now sense that the true catalyst will be the vivid imagery I create in my mind, a mental canvas that shapes reality in subtle but powerful ways.

The clarity of these self-generated visions will be what enables me to direct my energy and attention effectively. In short, today, I intend to refine the art of the daydream during my meditations, blending strong imagery with deep emotion to create a state so real it almost feels tangible. In these mental exercises, I will see myself actively and ethically removing corrupt officials from positions of power.

If my activities at Center cause those individuals to experience discomfort or even nightmares, that is a consequence of their choices, not something I will lose sleep over.

My focus for the day will be on maintaining this inner strength and continuing to develop my ability to transform adversity into progress, not just for myself but for those who are impacted by corruption and misuse of authority. I trust my instincts, honor my gifts, and walk forward with determination.

Tuesday, November 4, 2025: 7:56 AM: Reflection and Release: This morning I woke up feeling rested. I worked on Tummo breathing exercises and other forms of breath work for a while, which really helps with my sinuses and overall relaxation of the body in general. I might wake up feeling good, “But it doesn’t mean it stays that way for long!”

While doing my breathwork and enjoying the zinging sensations that came about as a result, I noted I was drifting right on the edge of sleep. A time or two I found myself in other places, but everything was vague and indiscernible.

While drifting between realms, I did catch something about me going back to my sailboat, which was around thirty feet in length, with a shoebox full of money. I didn’t see anything. I could feel myself carrying the box though and, wherever the vessel was docked, it was around 38 degrees out and damp.

When I finally got out of bed it was with the sense that a bit of monetary gain really is in my near future. Does that mean the check that’s supposedly been in the mail for the past three weeks is actually going to arrive in the next day or so, “Despite the government shutdown?”

And… Why is it that thoughts of Cassidy Spohn, who I can’t thank enough for getting evicted from here, are intruding on my mind so strongly? Is she, or is one of her associates going to visit my site again? Or are we going to cross paths in another way?

I’ve noticed for some time now that it’s the way things work for me these days. “Have strong thoughts and emotions about a party out of the blue and they appear in your world in some form shortly thereafter.”

I probably never will understand how a therapist could do something so hurtful to someone and not even bother to attempt to make things right. And, if she’s so right in what she did, why would she or anyone in her entourage want to visit any of my sites anyway. Their all better than me, “Right?”

What does it matter what someone writes about you online, so long as they are sticking to the facts and acknowledging what is speculation or opinion. If you can do no wrong, “Why does a bit of truth bother you so?”

In my opinion, Ms. Spohn shouldn’t be a therapist based on the fact that she proved to me that she cannot be trusted with money (based on texts) and she demonstrated a lack of ability to deliver on her word (also based on texts). Obviously, my landlord came to a similar conclusion based on his experience with her, “hence the eviction notice left on the downstairs landing”.

I could go on here about many other things I observed while she was living directly underneath this apartment. But, thankfully, as of February 28, 2025, she was gone.

My new neighbor is cool. She reminds me of Maria Cangelosi, who lived below me before Cassidy. She’s quiet, respectful, personable, and hasn’t once offered to help me with anything, “Which suits me just fine.”

I will never accept help from a neighbor again, after my experience with Ms. Spohn. “It’s just better this way.”

The vibe of the building feels so much better since Cassidy’s eviction. Things will never be perfect around here, but I actually enjoy being home again. I used to hate coming home to this apartment when I knew she was here.

But she’s not here anymore. I have a cool downstairs neighbor again that doesn’t cause me stress. And, from what I read online, Cassidy Spohn is now Michael Cipolla’s problem. Hopefully, he’ll do the world a favor and make sure she stays “His Problem”.

Wednesday, November 5, 2025: 8:17 AM: Visualization of My Ideal Day: I thought I was dreaming at first when I heard soft devious laughter in my ear. Then I thought, “Oh shit! She’s gonna kill me!”

Then I felt her gentle kisses on my neck as I became aware of her gentle yet rhythmic hip movements beneath me. Could it really be possible that I was actually inside her? “What’s happening here!”

Finally, my brain came fully online as Julia breathed, “Good morning sunshine. No worries. Just move with me.”

I could hear rain outside the open window. It was cool in the apartment, where we’d decided to spend the night for a change of pace. It felt cozy under the blankets with Julia, “Who was positively hot in all the right ways.”

She worked in her downtown office yesterday, meeting with clients. I guess she had a rough session or too that she simply couldn’t talk about for confidentiality reasons and called me at the house after work, requesting I meet her at the apartment.

So, I did. When I got to Newtonian Gardens and walked into what used to be my old apartment before we met, she had dinner ready. I knew she picked it up from the Hampton Diner, but even still, “She did it!”

After we ate and cleaned up, we chilled in the living room listening to music. Julia didn’t talk much as we snuggled on the couch together.

Then the kisses started and eventually, we moved from the couch to the shower and then the bedroom. Julia might have been quiet verbally all night, but she was communicating all the same.

I’m not sure how many times during the night we did it. But when I opened my eyes and realized I must have fallen asleep on top of her during the last round, “I didn’t think I’d be waking up to anything as pleasant as this.”

“Slow,” she whispered. “There’s no rush.”

A good while later, she came. It was one of those twenty-minute-long orgasms that cause the whole body to tremble with the intensity, me feeling each wave of her climax wash over her. I love feeling that. I wanted it to go on forever.

I think Julia knew what was on my mind because she suddenly started to pick up the pace with her movements a bit. Simultaneously she gave me a playful squeeze with her arms and legs huskily whispering, “Let yourself out of the doghouse and spill.”

I did just that a few minutes later and gently rolled off her. Julia slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom. As she came out, I headed in, Julia telling me she’d be waiting for me in bed in her best seductive bedroom voice as she slipped by.

When I returned to bed, I felt a set of hands connected to strong arms firmly take hold of me, guiding my body into a comfortable position beside her. Julia then kissed me, laughing softly and gently said, “That was wonderful.”

I must have looked my confusion, assuming Julia could even see me in the dark at all, because she then breathed with a chuckle, “You really think you are in trouble, don’t you.” Julia then gently kissed me before saying with a smile that could be heard in her voice, “I’ve been hoping for something like that to happen for a long time.”

“You have?” I asked in surprise. “You really wanted your husband to fall asleep on top of you in mid screw?”

Julia giggled once again and kissed me deeply in response. She then seemed to study me for a second before saying breathlessly with another big smile that came through in her voice, “Yes, and it was wonderful.”

I decided then and there to follow the advice she then playfully gave me. “Don’t try to understand all that goes on in the mind of a pretty girl. Just go with it.”

The rest of the day totally rocked after that. I opted to focus on posting to Brian Schnabel’s Head Space for the rest of the week between work for customers and not worry so much about continuing to code the new theme. Julia had headed back to her office in excellent spirits and sounded well when she called me during lunch break.

We decided to clean up the apartment and head back home when she got off from work, me having used the laptop at the Apartment to access my work on the home office system remotely. “It all went well!”

By the time 9:00 PM rolled around, we were both ready to just sleep. As we climbed into bed, Julia reached over and took my hand saying gently, “You can fall asleep on me, literally, any time. I can’t thank you enough for everything you did leading up to that point and after. You were wonderful.”

I then felt Julia moving close and kissing me while I dozed, her saying, “I love you.” Then she breathed in my ear, “Remember.”

Wednesday, November 5, 2025: 8:23 AM: Actions for Today: I’ve reached the decision to begin building out this website for the duration of the week and through the weekend. There will be some back posting involved, giving me an excellent opportunity to revise the scripts I use for writing and categorizing.

Of course, I need to take care of things like the dishes, laundry, and other fun stuff like that, too. But I can’t stay seated at a keyboard forever. So, it’ll get done at some point.

Will it all be done today, or even tomorrow? Probably not. But I’m only one person and therefore, some concessions will have to be made.

I have other things that need to be managed on the digital end, too. WAV files from notes on phone calls need to be sorted and converted to MP3, that kind of thing. I’m a little behind on some of this stuff, but all things considered, I’m doing pretty well.

I will turn my attention to more development work on the new theme beginning on Monday, in earnest. I really do want to get that done and installed on this website. But content shapes layout and the more content I have up in advance, “The better.”

I have twelve categories to fill, and the beauty part is that Pagination on this site is disabled. So, no matter how far back I go with my posting, only so many items are going to show up front and center. If the search engines index it all, “Great.” If they don’t, “That’s not my problem.”

I have a rough idea of what I need to do now. I’m on a roll with this thing. I now need to “just get it done”!

Wednesday, November 5, 2025: 10:22 AM: Visions and Dreams: It would seem that “shoes” are an important symbol these days, me having had a brief dream about keeping money in a shoebox yesterday. This morning though, it was about the fact that I wasn’t wearing shoes at all outside when someone asked me for help, and no clothes at all (let alone shoes) when I went to deliver some stuff I thought my downstairs neighbor might like to have.

There were some other dreams, too, about other people not giving me a chance to do things, as if I was an invalid or something, to stupid or helpless to know what I’m doing. Some of this could probably be attributed to the fact that I was reading David Schwartz’s book, “The Magic of Thinking Big.” A good portion of the chapter I read yesterday afternoon had to do with looking sharp and dressing your best in order to feel your best.

So, all things considered, I really don’t need Copilot’s help or anyone else’s to figure out what’s going on here. Over the course of my life, I’ve been invalidated in so many ways by so many people, “Of course, that’s going to weigh on my mind a bit.”

How can it not? Incidentally, in the dream about my current downstairs neighbor, she told me to take the stuff I had for her and throw it out. It was only then that I realized she was seeing me without opening her door through a peephole camera. I was puzzled at her hostile tone of voice until I realized I was stark naked holding a box full of stuff in front of the camera.

No wonder she didn’t want anything from me. But this dream, like the others, does illustrate my current state of mine pretty well.

Part of me feels like posting to this site is pointless. Then there’s the question of what people will do when they find out what’s here.

However, one can treat the box itself as a symbol without connecting it to shoes or any other item. To me, a box is a form of storage when not a means of delivery. Yesterday the dream was partly about carrying money in a box. Today I was delivering something to my neighbor in a box which she rejected clearly due to my nakedness.

In the final analysis, when you journal online you are basically naked to the world. So, I certainly can see what the message is here. “I need to learn to be comfortable with my digital nakedness.”

Thursday, November 6, 2025: 8:51 AM: Visualization of My Ideal Day: It was windy as hell last night. It was cold, too. But under the covers, it was warm. Neither one of us wanted to move.

“It’s so still outside,” Julia whispered softly. “It feels like nature is waiting for something.”

I could hear the awe in her voice as she spoke, both of us noting how the stillness outside was within the house as well. Of course, part of the elusion could simply have been that the window was open a bit. But when I got out of bed and pushed it all the way up, listening, I looked back at Julia and said, “There was a bigger event that took place than just a full moon.” I felt a hand take my own, Julia having silently slipped out of bed to stand beside me.

“Something’s shifted,” she said. “I guess we’ll know soon enough what that something is. But it’s not bad. I don’t feel like it’s bad, do you?”

“No,” I replied. Julia then put her arms around me and said, “I know we’ve gotten a late start, but do you think you could give a pretty girl the honor of your presence with her in the shower?”

She was working from home again, mainly using her part of our office building for couples counseling when she goes into town. I like when she’s here.

I’ve often thought of selling the building and converting the guest house in back into an office for both of us, but Julia won’t hear of it. She is right, of course. We are the best landlords in Newton, having taken over the operation of Newtonian Gardens Apartments from Goldberg Realty Assoc. We’ve certainly lowered the rent and raised the quality of living in that place. In fact, Julia is thinking we should buy more office buildings and apartment complexes.

“Besides… I’m not big on doing couples counseling from home,” she said, the last time we talked about it. And… Upon reflection, I can see where that might be a problem for both of us.

All Websites have been updated, and I got the ball rolling by resurrecting a 288-page site, merging its contents with Brian Schnabel’s Head Space. I am determined to get it done by the end of the month. I certainly got a good start with it today, having found a way to get all the way up to the end of 2021 in hardly any time at all.

Cleaning up the code was a snap, and Copilot was helpful in generating excerpt descriptions for each post, something they never had before.

Julia finally came into my study to drag me into the kitchen for dinner. “I thought I was intense when focused on a project, but you? I was waiting for furniture to start moving around in the entire house,” she said laughing at one point. Then she kissed me and said, “It’s a good thing. I like it. Just don’t burn yourself out with that stuff.”

I looked at her questioningly and she said simply, “You forgot to have lunch.” She pointed it out playfully enough, but I got her meaning and Julia moved on to talking about other things as we ate.

The evening was calm: Julia read a new psychology book while I finished David Schwartz’s Magic of Thinking Big on Audible with WQXR's classical music in the background. After she fell asleep, I took the opportunity to slip into my study here and do some journaling, which I’m now done with. The day is process and all thoughts have been filed where they need to be.

And now? Now’s a good time to go into the living room, collect my lady, and carry her off to bed. We can’t have her sleeping in there alone all night. “That would be wrong!”

Thursday, November 6, 2025: 12:00 PM: Visions and Dreams: I might have told Dad in an email that I was awake at midnight because my next-door neighbor was finally home from work and crashing around her apartment again. But the truth is, I woke because I felt the presence of a dark entity near me. The demon’s presents was felt as part of a dream. However, as I woke, it transitioned from the other realm to this one with me.

This hasn’t happened in a while, which is fine by me. The bone marrow chilling sensation generated by those possessed of evil (in human form or not) is something I can really do without. Fortunately, this particular spirit wasn’t very strong; me sensing that even before I was fully awake in real-time and I will admit, “Telling it to piss off felt damned good!”

Why I’ve had these experiences? I don’t know. I’ve wondered about that in the past but have since reached the conclusion that I really just don’t give a damn. It was a dark entity crowding my space, “So it needed to go.”

Could it have had something to do with what Dad texted me at 10:55 PM last night? It’s possible. However, when I clear my head and focus on the experience I had with the demon “I think not”.

If there was any reason for it to be cruising my neighborhood at all, it might have had to do with my level of anger. I’ve been more than a little annoyed with the people running our country of late, feeling that at this point we should just entrust America’s finances to a bunch of five-year-olds and get it over with. At this point, “All on the Hill need to be fired!”

But that will never happen. So, forty-two-million people suffer because the Democrats think they’ve got the upper hand with members of their party now in charge of New York City, New Jersey, and Verginia. “Like those elections spoke for the wants and needs of the rest of the nation!”

Hey! Hakeem Jeffries! If you think Tuesday’s election results are a reasonable justification for your party’s behavior, “Think again asshole!”

Mr. Trump. Yo! The Donald! Mr. President! King of America! Bring your skills to the table here at home, make a deal and “put an end to this whore-shit”! A real man should be able to do that, “Right?”

Anyhow, I digress. I’m feeling rather negative of late. That’s probably enough of a draw for any demon within a hundred-mile radius. So, the fact that I was wakened by the presence of one… “That really isn’t a big surprise!”

Friday, November 7, 2025: 7:54 AM: Visions and Dreams: As I worked on falling asleep last night it came to me that reversing a defensive incantation could possibly bring me more of what I want with less headache. So, something like, “I’m well protected from the greed, incompetence, and prejudice of XYZ,” could be converted to something like, “I am well exposed to the generosity, competence, and open-mindedness of XYZ,” to help me bring about the desired shift in others I want to experience.

So, naturally, I finally fell asleep working on a variation of this in my head with the intention of enhancing my sex life. And… “What do you know!” I woke from a vision involving my right-hand playing Phone Book with a young dirty blond twenty-something who was radiating that golden amber glow I do so like to see in my visions. She was happily pretending to be the yellow pages while I let my fingers do the walking.

She winced a little when the fingernail of my middle digit clipped her upon entry but she relaxed right away as soon as I changed the position of my hand so the nail wouldn’t cause any more discomfort. She was warm. She was wet. “She was tight!”

But, at that point, I began to wake up. However, just like yesterday morning, she seemed to have made the trip with me. Not so much physically as spiritually. Unlike yesterday though, the entity that came through to real time with me felt one hell of a lot more friendly than that other thing.

Interpretation: It was 4:01 AM when I woke and I felt at peace. I was a little disappointed the vision ended when it did but overall, I felt good. I did remember to trim that nail on my middle finger, too.

Something has been changing over the past few days. I can feel that in the very air upon waking in the early morning. I don’t feel threatened by it. But there is a power there I feel connected to somehow.

The link between the demon dream and this latest one is the way I transitioned out. In both I could feel the energy of another waking with me.

Is that which dwells within me finally fully awakening? Certain parties over the years seemed to feel that this would eventually be the case. What can I do with it though? Is it simply to be used for myself? Or can it help everyone, beyond the random events which have taken place? “This blind guy has kept more than one person from getting seriously injured or killed in the last decade alone.”

I’m not normal. That I know. At times, I’ve felt like I’ve been losing my mind, the past few years having been the worst; life having had somewhat of a nightmarish quality to it.

Somehow, the emotional upset and this ability within me seem to be linked. “What can I do with this?” “How do I fully control it!”

The parties that have approached me, claiming I would experience this awakening, have never said exactly what the great things I would be able to do truly are. Maybe it was all bullshit? Or maybe they’ve given up on me? I don’t know.

I’m not sure I really care at this point either. So, I continue on.

As I write this, the thought that transitioning from dream state to fully awake with the sense that the entities I’m encountering in my dreams are coming through with me in at least part, may perhaps be a signal that my dreams are key to doing any real Reality Creation and manifestation. In other words, what I “choose” to dream can be made real. “Perhaps I need to explore that?”

Saturday, November 8, 2025: 7:29 AM: Visions and Dreams: I woke from a vision this morning in which I was talking about “The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich (Expanded and Updated) Audiobook by Timothy Ferris” with none other than Timothy Ferris. We were both crashed out on a bed in a hotel room, Tim wearing a blue uniform that looked military. I was next to him, head propped up on my hand, resting on my elbow so I was looking down at the man as he lay on his back. We were a respectful distance apart, just two friends lounging on a bed, talking about his book.

He asked me what I thought of the book. So, I gave him my honest answer. “It’s a good read but a bit outdated. Not to the point where it’s useless in principle. But some of the information given no longer applies.”

I then said, “It could stand to be updated again to make it better.” He agreed and then we talked about how he could get it done.

I suggested that he use his overseas virtual assistant, Helga, to do it. He laughed and said, “I am glad to see you’ve been reading, but I don’t have her anymore.” He then fell silent and I said, “Or I could do it.”

The vision ended there. It was nighttime in the vision, me able to see that through the partially open vertical blind in the sitting area of our hotel room. It was cool out, me feeling like the vision was reflecting the current time here in the Northeastern United States. The place reminded me of the room I had at The Cambria back in August.

Interpretation: I knew upon waking that I wasn’t going to be updating any best-selling author’s book. I gave about two seconds of thought to the idea that it had something to do with me starting to post all that I had from my journal online. But that didn’t seem to be right, either.

However, I’ve been thinking that the pregnant pause with routine software updates to the server Brian Schnabel’s Head Space is hosted on was a bit strange. I was looking things over yesterday thinking, “What. The hackers have taken a vacation and there are no new bugs or vulnerabilities to fix?”

So, I decided to log into the server when I got out of bed and found what I half expected to see. A new WHM and cPanel update waiting to be installed.

I haven’t had a vision foretelling of software upgrades for a while. I haven’t had any visions about getting index by Google in a while, either. But maybe because I’ve begun writing and posting my true thoughts online again, “that connection is reopening”?

As far as the uniform Tim was wearing goes, I’ve seen a few figures in uniform in dreams over the past several weeks. Not so much that I would call it a red flag pointing to something I need to address, but enough to get my attention.

This vision also had some cues that lightly hinted at a strong possibility that I was being Remote Viewed. The uniform was one tipoff, since I associate Remote Viewing with the United States government. But the fact that I was conversationally looking downward at Tim, while he was looking up at me, didn’t escape my notice.

I already suspected that my shadow here in Newton has been tailing me again. Not because I noticed cars driving by me more than once or moving in a manner that they shouldn’t. I say this based on the sensations I felt when out earlier this week.

Beyond that, hotel rooms are analogous to temporary situations or states of mind. Given the government shutdown and everything, I’d say we’re going through a temporary phase right now.

Saturday, November 8, 2025: 9:02 AM: Accomplishments and Gratitude Practice: I’m pleased with the way things have been going over the past two weeks. While I did not meet anyone of interest when I had cruised by the location I had written about in Sunday, October 26th’s dream analysis, I am feeling better, largely because I’m sleeping better, and my focus on Brian Schnabel’s Head Space has been strong.

I have begun adding journal entries to the site, starting with what I wrote in March of 2021. Some people will find what I’ve written to be instructive and informative. Others will find some things to be rather entertaining. Others still will feel downright threatened by the content. Some will be simply too appalled with what I’m doing to ever talk to me again, “Which is fine!”

As I’ve stated in the past, few hear me anymore. So, I might as well write. At least this way, some folks will have an idea of who I am, what I’m about, “Who they’ve continually written off!”

My apprehension about posting my journal online is dying with each passing day. Mom’s communication, if we really did communicate on the morning of Monday, October 27th, was quite encouraging. I feel a sense of calm every time I think about it. So, I’m going to plow on with the project.

Did I get my theme done yet? “Hell No!”

But it doesn’t matter right now. The more content I have on this site, the better I can do in my design with the theme.

When it all comes together, this site is going to be huge! My feeling too is, the new theme will do a much better job of keeping the server load down than any WordPress caching plugin would ever be able to do because of the way I’ve opted to design it. “It’s going to be awesome!”

In a way, I think that, even if I didn’t have a real communication with my deceased mother, doing the journal will be of some use to me. Even if the rest of the world is offended, my own full review of its contents can only serve to help me as there is magic in writing. This holds especially true when that writing is mixed with the laser like focus one needs to get a post online using a screen reader.

So, while I haven’t gotten much else done around here, the apartment only being passible for guests, I’m pleased overall with the progress I have made.

Saturday, November 8, 2025: 10:40 AM: Updates: Using Copilot in addition to my Screen reader, JAWS for Windows 2026, I recently completed an upgrade on my WHM server, moving from cPanel & WHM version 130.0.15 to version 130.0.16. The upgrade log reported 100% completion with no errors or warnings.

Server details after upgrade:

• OS: AlmaLinux v9.6.0 STANDARD
• Load averages: 0.42, 1.47, 1.08 (normal operating range)

The WHM interface confirmed the upgrade was successful, and all standard functions remain available, including server configuration, security center, reseller management, service configuration, backups, account functions, DNS tools, software updates, and system health monitoring.

I also reviewed the log output in detail using Copilot via Microsoft Edge. Copilot indicated that there were no red error lines, warnings, or skipped steps. No package conflicts or dependency failures were noted. Services such as Apache, Exim, Mail, and DNS are accessible, and the system health metrics are stable.

Conclusion? The upgrade to cPanel & WHM version 130.0.16 completed cleanly. No issues were reported, and the server is running normally.

In short? “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.”

Posting that's a little off the trolley at times... Brian is a single Newtonian Gardens Apartments resident, Self-Publishing Author, cPanel WordPress Web Host and Windows 11 powered computer tech. He’s a musician, sailor, hiker, cycler and some women would say, “Magical, too!”