Brian Schnabel's Head Space
Where Magick and Mind Digitally Interlace.

Personal Triumphs, Family Insights, and Uncovering the Unexpected.

Sunday, November 23rd, 2025, 11:00 PM: Updates: Woohoo! I finished all the pages for Dad's website. I don't anticipate any problems with that, so it's now completely off my plate. I can finally move on to bigger and better things. I'm enjoying my new JBL headset; it lets me get up, move around, and take care of things without being tethered to wires or stuck at my desk while the computer is uploading files. Now, I can wear the headphones, walk away, and grab a coffee or whatever else I need.

My previous headset had an issue where it would cut off the first couple of seconds of everything JAWS for Windows spoke. Unless I played an audio file in the background on a loop, the performance was inconsistent, and I missed a lot. The JBL headset has been much better in that regard. I'm also caught up with BrianSchnabel.com.

I haven't had a chance to do more work on recording The Witching Hour yet, but I plan to resume that in the morning for a bit. After that, I might do some more back-posting to BrianSchnabel.com and finally tackle some laundry, since it's supposed to be a nice day.

I appreciated the insight from my dream this morning, which suggested I might want to ease up a bit on the aggressive dreams about confronting adversaries. I also noticed the hint about my body craving protein, so I took care of that and got a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on a sub roll from Hayek's Market.

Christine took care of my order, and I also saw Brett while I was there; we always have a good time when I visit. Dan was around, taking care of business, and it looked like they were preparing a large catering order. But, despite that, the service I got was quick, so I can't complain. Life is good.

I also connected with my nephew; he's going to stop by with water tomorrow morning, which is great since I finished my last bottle today. I really need to do a better job of keeping track of that.

I'm looking forward to hearing from Marilyn; I suspect I'll probably hear from her sometime before Thursday. We typically talk on the phone every couple of days, but the vision I had this morning was pretty specific. It predicted an overcast afternoon, probably around 4:30 p.m., just before it gets dark. That's what I took from the vision.

In any case, all is well and life is good. I'm going to sleep like a stone tonight.

Thursday, November 27, 2025: 7:49 AM: Reflection and Release: I was in a rage yesterday after what I found, me already being suspicious with what my dad was saying with regard to my mom, brother and the will. So, for the hell of it, not thinking I would find anything, I took a look at the May 1st backup and just lost my marble’s.

Once upon a time, the cPanel backups that came with HostGator, Bluehost and other companies that offered reseller accounts didn’t contain email. You might get remnants of emails stored in a database file but nothing really intelligible or restorable. These days though, “That no longer seems to be the case!”.

I then damned near contacted Javon Duncan from LEEM filtration to let them know that they have been placing orders with a nonbusiness entity since November 6, 2024; my parents having shut down their Delaware based pneumatic distributorship at that time. But why bother? Javon Duncan and the rest of the LEEM Filtration team in Ramsy NJ. They are probably just as sleezy as my dad and would more than likely only seek to insulate themselves from any wrongdoing anyway.

It’s clear to me that Dad has no honor or integrity, and all that man sees me as is a pawn. I’ve always known it at some level. But now I have it in black and white. I will never ever supply another family member that owns a business with free web hosting ever again.

And to think, Dad’s buddy Shawn Erickson was sitting there telling me at the gathering for Mom on August 28th at Crossroad Community Church that my parents were so proud of me. Yup! So proud they think nothing of using my “free” services to commit fraud. But it’s always been about the money and image, “Right Dad?”

Why my parents even worried about anyone taking advantage of their blind son is beyond me. After all, what does it matter what anyone else does to your kid when you’ve got no problem taking advantage of your disabled child, “Yourself!”

Then, yesterday evening, the strangest calm came over me. I could feel a presence and was receiving the impression that I should hold off on doing anything more. After all, I’d already filled out an email form on the LEEMFiltration.com website letting them know I suspected that Dad had been doing business with companies and not telling them Automation Air was shut down.

How’s it all going to work out? I’m not sure. I know Dad wants to use me to set up a trust account so he can hide money. I also know that if he’s caught committing fraud, I could catch some blowback because of that. After all, I built the website and hosted it, providing the email infrastructure he used to communicate with customers.

The worst-case scenario involves me losing my benefits because of Dad’s quest for money or I could simply end up in jail. But you know what? If it takes Dad down and exposes him to the rest of the world for what he truly is, “Losing my benefits or going to jail really won’t be such a bad thing!”

Thursday, November 27, 2025: 10:00 PM: Accomplishments and Gratitude Practice: I spent a quiet afternoon with Ellen and Jen. Dinner was good, the dog show was ok, the Kardashian series struck me as a waste of airtime and the Ghost Adventures episodes we watched on TV were interesting.

I like quiet in a lighthearted atmosphere. These moments seem to be rare anymore. But, today was appreciated, even if it wasn’t anything spectacular to write home about.

Who needs spectacular anyway. Go for simple and if it is at all possible, “Let synergy take care of the rest.”

I’m not sure who the person that tailed me from Ellen and Jen’s apartment complex most of the way through town was. But it gave me an excellent excuse to stretch my legs a bit more than what I might have normally done. “My shadow got a workout!”

They gave up at the intersection of West End and High Street. This was probably due to the fact that I waved and smiled directly at them before crossing over from my side of the street to continue my trip home. No matter what the intention, most people don’t like it when the blind guy shows signs that he knows they are there.

Now I’m ready to read some more before calling it a night. True, my Thanksgiving this year hasn’t been anything to write home about. But I got what I wanted out of it which was simply, “Quiet!”

That is what I want for Christmas and New Years this year, too. I want quiet. No house guests, no lying cheating family members around. No crank-pots. “Simply Quiet!”

Friday, November 28, 2025: 1:54 PM: Reflection and Release: This morning I woke from a sequence of visions that were very clear to me and not even worth writing out. The first two visions had to do with me covering for people who wanted to do things privately regarding their own health without interference from others. I understood this in the visions and was cool with letting these folks do what they felt was best for themselves; my feeling being that they weren’t asking for my involvement in any real way. Then in the last vision, I kicked the crap out of Dad once again due to his “know it all”, Slick Willy Knows Best, attitude and woke from the vision as I was placing my foot on his throat.

It is clear to me that Dad will be reaching out again, soon. This time I will not be answering the call. He can email me if there’s a real problem.

I wouldn’t put it past him to show up unannounced on my doorstep, either. But there’s no law that says I need to answer the door. “The next few days shall be interesting.”

In all honesty though, if he can inform me via group text that my mom has passed, he can do everything else with me via email with as little contact as possible. My trust is broken, “This time for good.”

There really is no safe space for me. The people around me are so caught up in their own drama, leaving me with a strong impression that their own worlds are on the brink of falling apart the way they talk.

And we all now know where we stand with even the United States Government. If you can’t walk away from a conversation with any certainty that folks feel like they have even fifty percent control of their own situation, let alone trust that your government is going to do right by you, what do you have beyond yourself?

Women are good for sex. People in general are good for conversation from time to time. But beyond that, there’s always going to be a question mark as to whether or not anyone will be able to deliver on what they say they can do when help is needed. “I require more than words.”

I already know that most agencies can’t follow their own guidelines and the law in general except when it’s convenient for them to do so. Sex is a tool, promises are empty threats, guidelines are for political means or persecution, religion is all about control, health care of any kind is simply for profit, and people like me are simply a token to be used to satisfy someone else’s greed if not lust for power in general. “DEI and Accessibility policies are meaningless.”

But I do have tools to navigate all of this crap. Many will disapprove of my attitude with regard to their usage going forward. But, given the lack of ethics within even my own family, “It just doesn’t matter to me anymore.”

I’ve begun letting the Waerloga within me come out to play in full. I’ve stopped holding back. I will continue to do the right thing where I can. But the things I feel appropriate to attempt manifestation of against the treacherous, greedy, incompetent, and prejudiced around me, “God help them all.”

Of course, if the witch within is indicating I need to back off, I shall. But, where it’s plane that my path is clear to return the abuse, I’ve received at the hands of another 10X, “I will cheerfully do so.” After all, isn’t that what the American version of Equality and Justice for All is about in society these days?

But what will this look like for those who continually screw me around? If it feels like the elements of the earth have risen up against you, “Remember how you’ve moved against me.” If your car and other appliances or devices you consider to be basic life essentials have become costly or frustrating to manage, “Remember the intentional frustration you’ve caused me.” If things begin happening in your world that leave you feeling unsafe and even a little intimidated, “Remember your deliberate unsafe actions or attempted intimidation you projected towards me.”

I don’t have to put up with a third of the garbage I tolerate from anyone. And… Why should I? Would you put up with you if you were me? “People might want to start asking themselves that question.”

Saturday, November 29, 2025: 12:38 PM: Reflection and Release: The visions this morning seemed friendly enough after the first one, which I suspect was an adjustment to the possible timeline for contact with Dad, given yesterday’s joyous event in dreamland. This time though it was interesting because I was kicking the crap out of a teenage kid that reminded me of my nephew in a men’s room.

Perhaps I was seeing the teenaged version of Dad? “I don’t remember him ever having a full head of hair.”

The kid had glasses on though that reminded me of Dad’s glasses. So, perhaps the vision is simply demonstrating the fact to me that I already kind of figured out. “The man never really grew up.”

You can think that you deserve a gold star for sticking it out with the family you started to the bitter end. But in the scheme of things, your quality as a parent is never contingent on how much money you’ve made, especially when it becomes apparent in black and white that you have no ethics when it comes to making a buck.

I have no doubt in real time that Dad is simply looking to weasel out of paying Mom’s medical expenses as much as possible, screwing John’s Hopkin’s, the State of Delaware, and the Federal Government as much as possible. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care what damage has been done to me due to his processes, either, “And I will have no part of it!”

The man can choke and die for all I care at this point. If he’s smart, he’ll stay away from me going forward. “I don’t take kindly to anyone using me and my services for their own selfish gain at any cost!”

Maybe Sean Erickson thinks Dad’s cool. But, at this point, That’s Sean’s problem. Mr. Erickson can’t be all that smart if he hasn’t figured out Dad yet. But then again, maybe Sean wasn’t really anything I was told he was, either. “Maybe they are both scammers?”

I don’t care who any of them claim to be at this point. So long as Daddio stays out of my life going forward, “I’m golden.”

You can’t pick your parents. I’m sorry I’ve spent a better part of my life trying to work with mine. Looking back, “Walking away from both of them would have been a much better way to go.”

No. I won’t say my life has been wasted. But the energy I’ve put into immediate family over the year’s most certainly has been. That’s pretty clear to me based on what I’m seeing now.

The part that cracks me up is, Dad wouldn’t hesitate to kick our asses if my brother and I had misrepresented ourselves to anyone under his roof. And yet, Dad has no problem committing fraud and using one of his own kids’ services to do it. He really is just a sixteen-year-old in a seventy-six-year-old body, “Isn’t he?”

Posting that's a little off the trolley at times... Brian is a single Newtonian Gardens Apartments resident, Self-Publishing Author, cPanel WordPress Web Host and Windows 11 powered computer tech. He’s a musician, sailor, hiker, cycler and some women would say, “Magical, too!”