Orgasmic surprises: Goldberg Realty’s possibly hidden guarantees.

Well… Despite everything today, there are three things I’m pleased to have accomplished. They won’t seem like a big deal to many people, but they matter to me, “And in this house that means something!”

I did manage to find an affirmation I can work with for sleep. Is it posted on this site? “Hell No!” I’ll keep that one to myself, “Thanks!”

I got the excess cardboard out of here along with some regular household trash that needed to go. It’s quite the walk from Building 2 to any of the dumpsters around here and managing cardboard boxes, even when broken down, while using a cane to see where you’re going can be quite a royal pain in the ass.

Taking out the household garbage isn’t too bad. But… It used to be much better until some idiot neighbors kept overfilling the dumpster in between Building 2 and Building 4 because they were too lazy to get out of their vehicles to use other dumpsters that were actually in closer proximity to their apartments. Selfish is as selfish does though, “Right?”

True, my landlord probably should never have put the smaller dumpster there. The original didn’t quite get stacked the way the smaller replacement version did, the smaller one arriving with the new garbage company. So now there’s no dumpster there at all, which hurts a lot of elderly people here more than it will ever hurt me. Absolutely brilliant, “Don’t you think?”

Anyhow… Aside from the jerks in the hood and my landlord’s willingness to solve a problem by saving a buck… “The house is clean!”

The joint ain’t perfect. But it is more than good enough for tomorrow’s surprise Section 8 Housing inspection. With a little luck, someday an inspector will come through this place when my downstairs neighbor is doing laundry. Maybe that will actually happen tomorrow. Then they could inspect while we experience the tremors from the washer as it spins off together. That would be cool, “Wouldn’t it?”

Someday, I’ll probably have a girlfriend up here while my neighbor is doing laundry down there and we’ll get an added thrill from the way her washer shakes two thirds of my apartment. Who doesn’t want an extra special intimate moment? It will be the sex on the washing machine experience right from the comfort of my own bed when that day comes. Actually… The more I think about it… Yeah…  “Let’s do it!”

Forget about fixing the building, boys and girls. We like having improperly installed washers and driers running in our building, especially when the washers spin off, “Getting us off!”

I wonder if maybe that was Goldberg Realty’s plan all along. I should go back and look at my lease and see if there isn’t a “Orgasm on Laundry Day Guarantee”!

Author: Brian KC2KFD

A single Goldberg Realty owned Newtonian Gardens Apartments resident, Self-Publishing Author, cPanel WordPress Web Host and Windows 11 powered computer tech. A musician, sailor, hiker, cycler and… Yes ladies… Some women would say, “Magical, too!”

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