In this MP3 Podcast, Brian shares his personal experiences of looking for a romantic partner as a visually impaired person in Sussex County, New Jersey. He reveals the difficulties and prejudices he encounters from the majority of single women who dismiss him based on his disability; him largely expressing his confidence and optimism, highlighting his abilities, talents, and interests that make him a suitable and desirable partner.
Here in Sussex County New Jersey, many single women will never go out with a blind man like me, even if he is smart, funny, and attractive. I know this for a fact because I’ve personally been told repeatedly by local single women who grew up in this area things like “I don’t want to be your caretaker”, “I need eye contact to feel connected to you”, or “You wouldn’t appreciate my physical beauty”.
These aren’t valid reasons to reject someone, of course. Reasoning that blatantly cancels someone based on disability never is. But these are the kinds of things I hear from women on a regular basis, “And so much more!”
However… While there are not many hot local single women who are open-minded enough to date highly independent blind men like me, “I only want one!”
Besides… When I stop and think about it, “What’s not to love about me?”
I am confident and positive. Yeah… I am happy and comfortable with myself and have a lot to offer. I have awesome strengths, skills, and passions in a variety of areas, and don’t let my blindness define me.
I am honest and respectful. I’m also good at Communicating my needs, expectations, and boundaries clearly and respectfully. I certainly Don’t hide or lie about my blindness, “And why should I?”
While I don’t feel that my blindness needs to be the topic of even a fifth of the conversations I have with people, I’m good at Listening to my partner’s concerns and am a master at answering them in a fun-loving way.
I am proactive and creative. I generally don’t wait for someone to approach me, taking the initiative to meet new people and express my interest.
I don’t know that I will ever Use online dating sites or apps that cater to blind people or people with disabilities. But when opportunity knocks, I’m not opposed to joining social groups, clubs, or engaging in activities that match my hobbies or interests and seeking potential partners while I’m at it.
When planning a date, I generally suggest fun and engaging activities that don’t rely on sight too heavily if at all. I’m always down with going on dates that involve listening to music, playing games, or having a picnic. But… I’m cool with stretching myself, too. Even I get surprised at times about how many things out there really don’t require eyesight, “Even though we are often programmed to believe that they do!”
I know that finding love is not easy for anyone, and that there are many factors that influence compatibility and attraction. I’m not unreasonable by any stretch of the word.
So… Yeah… I’m going to keep trying and learning from my experiences, and most certainly will not settle for anything less than, “What I deserve!”