At this point, I give up. No matter what I do, it’s not working. “Screw this!”
So, from here on in, I go to bed around 11:00 PM and I get up at five. If I don’t sleep, “I don’t fucking sleep!”
I’ve been up since before 1:00 AM and am lucky if I got an hour and a half worth of sleep. “I’m tired of this bullshit!”
I can’t go back to sleep today, either. I’m going to have to do whatever it takes to make it until 11:00 PM and that’s that. Even if that means taking an ice-cold shower every hour on the hour, “No sleep again until 11:00 PM!”
I think part of the problem has been the way I’ve been doing my meditations. I’m running them too long when I should probably be running them for no more than twenty minutes on average. “I need to start setting an alarm to make sure I don’t run over the intended time.”
Unfortunately, too, meditation for me seems to act as a stimulant. It’s relaxing to the point of awakening. “I feel like I’m able to do more stuff when I’ve done one!”
And that’s all there really is to it. This plan is either going to work, or it’s not. My only other option is to start sleeping every other night. But the way things are going now, sleeping two hours one day and ten or twelve the next? “I’m done!”