Author: Brian KC2KFD

I woke at 3:00 AM feeling relaxed and yet… Well… I’m not sure what you would call it. I locked in on my breathing and the things that have transpired over this past year began scrolling through my mind; my brother’s passing, the arrest, people saying that my niece wasn’t raped because a court didn’t say so simply because they are worried about how they look in the scheme of things, my anger and frustration with the Mental Health profession, plus a few other things. But when I attempted to dial in on the issues, I felt the familiar push back and registered a message from the inner clockwork telling me it’s all being handled. “I’d like to believe that!”

Well… Despite everything today, there are three things I’m pleased to have accomplished. They won’t seem like a big deal to many people, but they matter to me, “And in this house that means something!”

It doesn’t happen often, but this year it did. I got a phone call this afternoon that my inspection, conducted by the New Jersey Department of Community Affairs Housing Program will be tomorrow. Was it related to the fire here at Newtonian Gardens on Friday? “I’m not sure!”

Well… After the 1:00 AM incident with the alarm dog, sleep never came. So, I read some more and then listened to music for a while. I think I’m on my third cup of coffee now and feeling like reading Debt of honor is starting to emotionally drag on me a bit. “It’s not fun right now!”

As annoying as little yapper dogs can be sometimes, they do have their place. At first, when my downstairs neighbor’s dog started barking at 1:00 AM, I thought it was because the floor creaked a little as I walked from my desk in the bedroom towards the kitchen of my apartment. Hardwood floors do that in old buildings when it’s damp out, “No matter how careful you try to be!”

I just got done doing a meditation while listening to Forest, Birds & Stream from the Nature Sounds for Relaxation Meditation Healing & Sleep album, which is published by Sounds of Beautiful World. It runs for an hour and ten minutes and can be found on Amazon along with a bunch of other sound tracks just like it. It was one of many awesome finds I’ve discovered on their website and handy for meditation and drowning out the more distracting or unpleasant sounds in my environment. “I’ve got a whole nature sounds playlist setup for this house!”

I received a call this evening informing me that the investigation into my brother’s fatal car accident on Saturday, February 24, 2024, by the South Dakota Highway Patrol has concluded. What it boils down to is his blood alcohol level was .201, he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, and he was driving at a high rate of speed as he drove into a ditch, causing the vehicle to flip multiple times.

Around noontime, I awoke feeling like I could have stayed in bed all day, my sleep deep and intermittent from about midnight onward. The temptation to remain under the sheets and weighted blanket was strong, yet duty called. Leases awaited my signature, server issues demanded research, and a list of calls beckoned.

I decided once I got done with my meditation to start coffee at around 4:00 AM and order Tom Clancy’s “Executive Orders” from audible. The way the last book “Debt of Honor” ended, it just made sense to continue reading this next book.

Sleep has evaded me once again. It was around 3:00 AM when I gave it up, gunning for a meditative state instead. In the quiet of the night, I began working on a project at Center that promised a tranquility of sorts, not through lengthy affirmations but through the power of singular words.

As I turned the last page of Tom Clancy’s “Debt of Honor” tonight, a slight chill ran down my spine. The parallels between Clancy’s narrative and the tragic events of September 11, 2001, are uncanny, to say the least. It’s almost as if the book, published in 1994, cast a haunting shadow over the future.

Today went reasonably well, me spending most of it reading Tom Clancy’s Debt of Honor. It was mostly quiet around the building, making it easy to concentrate, too. I also made a trip to Hayek’s Market for a BLT and got some time in spinning this evening, as well. I think I might need to slow down with the grapes just a bit, having blown through a large bag of them in under 18 hours. “Ups!”

At 3:15 AM, I found myself lost in the mental interpretation of an intense, vivid erotic vision; a glimpse of a future waiting to unfold. Then my friendly neighborhood teleprompter suddenly awoke in my head, generating the most peculiar thought. “Schedule these dream events in real life.”

Today was a bit long, me only having gotten an hour and a half’s worth of sleep, if that, by the time 8:00 AM rolled around. I did manage to get another two hours in this afternoon upon returning from lunch at Villa Capri’s with my friend who works at a sheriff’s department here in North Jersey and am hoping for a normal night’s sleep tonight. But… “We shall see!”

Well boys and girls, I’ve finally gotten around to writing descriptions for my various affirmation sections of this site. Now people should actually have a clue as to what the intended purpose for these affirmations is in terms of their usefulness in reframing reality. I was hoping to write more affirmation statements in dealing with the remaining core emotions I have yet to cover…

I didn’t think I’d like the book as much as I do, but Tom Clancy’s “Debt of Honor is finally starting to pick up pace and, instead of reading one chapter in the wee morning hours, I ended up reading three.” Of course, when I felt tired, I couldn’t sleep, “Again!” So, I took advantage of the predawn window of time that is known to some of us as The Magic Hours and ran a meditation using my 110 Hz binaural soundtrack to help the process along. “It worked!”

Today went reasonably well, I think. Yeah… I lost a bit of time sleeping this afternoon. But I think I’ve done reasonably well despite that and my screwed-up sleep cycle in general.

In the realm of productivity software, Microsoft 365 stands out with its suite of applications that promise to enhance our work efficiency. This evening, after returning from a pleasant evening out, I arrived back home and returned a phone call before opening my email; discovering a Microsoft advertisement for Copilot Pro, a subscription service within Microsoft 365, claiming Copilot has revolutionized the user experience with AI in Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and Outlook.

I did some time checking on my iPhone and found out that the Sparta Avenue Dunkin’ Donuts was already closed. So… I took the scenic tour around town a little bit and have ended up at the one out on route 206 by ShopRite. The Boston cream doughnut was awesome, and I have coffee for the return trip.

Tonight’s just one of those nights where it feels really nice to be outside. Maybe it’s because I’ve been inside all day. Anyhow… I think I might see if I can attain a cup of coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts on Sparta Avenue on my way home.

Dinner sounds like it’s going to be good this evening. I understand we’ll be having Chicken Cordon bleu (Yum!), hash browns and corn.

Ah well… Somewhere around 1:00 PM I suddenly felt super tired and figured I’d run a meditation for a while. Well… It turned into three dream filled hours instead. “I guess I needed the sleep!”

Here we are, kicking things off with a new month of Journal entries on this fine Wednesday, May 1, 2024. I’m thinking it might be helpful for visitors if I get it in gear and start writing descriptions for my sight categories, so folks understand what’s going on here. But… I think, too, that it might be good if I get to work on finishing up on my generation of affirmations folks might find useful for dealing with the various core emotions I have yet to cover.

I’ve done my meditation and have pretty much figured out what my issue is. In a nutshell, “I’m getting caught up in the details on some matters in an effort to find facts about a particular incident.”

The fish sticks and shrimp have been delivered to my friend’s apartment and Mom’s card is in the mail. It’s hard to believe that Mother’s Day is only a week and a half away. But everything I needed to do is now done with a little help from a friend and yet, “I feel mentally fried this evening!”

Ok? So… After a little chat with a nice young lady from South Dekota’s Highway Safety Patrol, I’ve learned that only some of the accident investigation surrounding my brother’s death is done. Apparently, there’s a few things that still haven’t been finalized and a more conclusive report is pending.

One of the things I noticed last night when I went up to this website is that I really need to refine my technique using the WordPress app. Using dictation has its drawbacks when someone is going by on a Harley. But, I noted, too that a few critical mistakes didn’t appear in the app that were very apparent on the site when I went to add another post.